Sunday, October 19, 2014

Elkmont Camping Trip

There's a magical quality when you get to watch your children see the leaves fall in great quantity off the trees around you as the brisk, fresh air fills their lungs. I got to see that this past weekend. Kinley excitedly shouted "Look! Oh, no. We've gotta catch them. We've gotta put them back." I love experiencing common occurrences through the eyes and words of a child, especially mine because I happen to think they're brilliant. It was also pretty incredible to think of all the sounds that Abel was trying to sort through with his new cochlear implants. He happily kept his processors on for the entire camping trip and he got to hear the river rushing close by, the leaves crunching under his feet, the zipping of the tent, bird songs, the crackling of the fire, and so many other sounds that we all take for granted.

I was so nervous to camp with three small children, but I'm glad we did it.

When we first got there, it was dark and we still had to get the tent set up. I sat by the fire and watched the kids as Jordan set to work setting up camp. As we waited, Kinley told me, "I have a pwoblem." I asked him what it was and he said, "Mine daddy is over there and I'm over here." This boy loves his dad. We're lucky to have him.

Merit did great, too! Honestly, he was probably the easiest, laid back babe during the trip. He was perfectly content to stare up at the trees for hours and bundled up at night, he slept for long stretches. Two months old and already camping! He's a little trooper and we love him so.

How was your weekend?

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Guilt and Grace

The first post on a blog is always awkward. This first post will be no different. It's customary to introduce oneself, but I don't feel the need to do that. You either know me or you don't. You like me or you don't. I can't really sway those feelings either way by words on a computer screen so I won't try. I felt drawn to write today because I'm feeling so stretched in every direction. There are so many people who keep calling me "SuperMom" and there couldn't be a person more unworthy of that title. I'm not her (although I'm going to be for Halloween!). I try to be her, but I fall short all the time. I want to let go of the guilt-

-the my child did this today and that's a reflection of ME guilt

-the my child needs a therapy program that isn't available around me guilt

-the I don't remember the last time I actually cooked dinner guilt

-the I'm not fit enough guilt

-the I still have so much sin in my life guilt

-the I pin activities to do with my kids, but don't actually ever do them guilt

-the my house is messy so my life must be messy guilt

If I look, I can find guilt and regret in so many things. But guess what?

-Sometimes kids just do or say crappy things. It doesn't mean I'm a bad mom. It doesn't mean that I'm not trying. It simply means my work isn't yet done. It's just beginning.

-The therapy can be done at home if I discipline myself to learn how to do it and follow through. I can help him.

-My husband enjoys cooking. Why would I add to my already full plate so to speak?

-I have three kids. One who has doctors and therapy appointments multiple times a week. One who keeps me up all night. I don't have much help because I can't afford it. It's exercise or sleep and the former rarely wins.

-Sin? Who doesn't have it? Only one. And he set me free from mine.

-As far as Pinterest goes, isn't it the thought that counts? ;)

-Again, I have three kids. Four if you count my other half. Their median age is 2.25. All boys. I could clean eight hours a day and not be finished.

I'm making a decision right now (at least for today) to be done with the guilt. Sure, it'll creep back up and try to get me, but I'll just have to remind myself that that girl is gone. I'm working. I'm trying. I'm doing a good job. And I'd venture to bet that you are, too.

Give yourself some grace.

"She watches over the affairs of the household and does not eat the bread of idleness."
Proverbs 31:27

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